Forgiveness is sometimes defined as a deliberate decision to let go of anger, bitterness, and retribution toward someone who has hurt us. However, while we may be generous in our ability to forgive others, we may be much harder on ourselves.
We all make mistakes, make wrong decisions, or behave incorrectly. Most often, we feel shame, regret or guilt, and that’s a heavy burden to bear. So, if we can try to forgive others, why is it so hard to forgive ourselves? Keep reading to learn how we can work on forgiving ourselves.

What is Self-Forgiveness
Self-forgiveness is an intentional positive change in feelings, actions and beliefs about the self, following a wrongdoing committed by the self. It is a huge act of courage, grace and self-compassion that doesn’t come easily. Forgiving ourselves for past mistakes can be challenging, even after we’ve learned the lessons from them. Learning how to move on and forgive ourselves can be one of the most beneficial things we can do for ourselves.
Learning How to Forgive Ourselves
Self-forgiveness is a commitment to change and takes practice. It is a choice. It is not easy, but it helps us get rid of pain. Practising self-forgiveness means making a conscious effort not to speak critically about ourselves. In doing so, we nurture the more forgiving side of our mind and heart. It is important to start to cultivate the mindset of valuing and understanding our common humanity, so that it becomes harder to label us as unworthy. Recognising that we all carry some kind of wounds in our hearts helps us open the door to forgiveness.
To learn how to forgive ourselves, we should:
- Understand our emotions
- Accept responsibility for what happened
- Express regret for our mistakes
- Look for ways to learn from experience
- Treat ourselves with kindness and compassion
- Focus on making better choices in the future
Forgiveness means that we accept what happened and are willing to move on with our lives without thinking about past events.

The Benefits of Forgiving Ourselves
There are numerous health benefits of forgiving ourselves, such as:
- Lower levels of anxiety and depression
- Increased levels of success, productivity and concentration
- Improved cholesterol levels
- Lower blood pressure
- Reduced bodily pain
- Increased positive thoughts
- More successful relationships
- Improved self-confidence
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➥ DISCLAIMER: This post is not intended to replace medical treatment. The information provided is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice.